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And so, I Bake – Celebrating Hope

The year she was diagnosed with the disease that steals memories, the baton was passed. Passed to me.

And so, I baked. To honor her, the one who filled kitchen & home with the aroma of love at Christmas. And to celebrate her first grandson, born just weeks before her diagnosis. A bittersweet celebration with sweets. Yet, still a celebration. Grateful for the blessing of time. Time for grandmother to know grandson – the one with the flaxen curls lopping up and down next to full, rosy cheeks.

And we celebrated the One – the baby born – who made it all possible…this celebrating of hope in sorrow.


The year she was born, I baked in celebration of her – baby girl – eyes so blue, lit from within. Baby girl with the extra chromosome, who brought with her joy unspeakable, in tiny fingers and toes and toothless smile. Joy nearly explodes a mother’s heart, thankful for such a little one’s life and health.

And so, I baked. We celebrated with family and friends who celebrated her life, alongside us.

And we celebrated the One – the baby born – who made it all possible…this celebrating of hope in difficult times.


The year she passed unexpectedly – the friend closer than a sister – joy was a drifting snowflake making fleeting appearances at untimed intervals in a heart numbed by grief.

And so, I baked. Tradition carrying me along. It was what was to be done. Add butter, add sugar, flour – one cup, then another. Follow instructions to get to the end.

And still we celebrated, family and friends alongside, cradling my wounded heart.

And we celebrated the One – the baby born – who made it all possible…this celebrating of hope in grief.


And now, this year of loved ones ailing, healing for some, not for others. New sorrows. New dreams. New joys.

And still, I bake. I bake to honor the mother who loved and still loves well, even with words unspoken. To celebrate the blessing of a beautiful friend, no longer here. And to celebrate the piggy-tailed little girl and the boy becoming man, family, dear friends and a year blessed by the presence of the One.

I celebrate the baby born, who made it all possible…this celebration of hope. Joy in sorrow. Strength in difficulty. Grace abundant. Beauty from ashes.

I bake in celebration of the hope that is the living hope – Immanuel. For he is with me, in it all.

3 Comments Post a comment
  1. Oh Ang, my precious friend, when will I learn not to read your blog at my desk? Through my tears, and as always, I am thankful that our hearts are so closely knit that your pain breaks my heart but… the Good News is just that! Our joys are doubled because of our paths crossed once long ago. I love you and wish you a blessed Christmas. Aud

    December 18, 2012
    • Absolutely, Aud! So much hope because of that Good News! Grateful for your friendship then & now, Audrey. Thank you, friend! Merry Christmas!

      December 18, 2012
  2. Sweet friend! Love this, it’s absolutely precious, Christmas hugs to you, dear one. Love you!

    December 27, 2012

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